azuremagma | (no subject)

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Man, that 'eartland shit's super fuckin' crazy. Ya 'umans will never cease ta amaze me with yer new an' excitin' ways ta 'urt each other an' willin'ness ta use anythin' ta win. ~~Honestly I'm a lil' jealous~~

Maybe we should start battenin' down 'atches, shitty duelists an' children first?

[Private to Meathead, The Undead Nerd, and a A Windy Broad]

'ey ya 'uge nerd, concussion fueled idiot, an' lady! Ya two 'ighschool idiots are prolly all really fuckin' worried 'bout the newest branch o' the Samasus. I got an idea, but yer gonna need ta tell me 'oo the man is.

(Hint: It's me.)

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I'm guessing you're looking into that stuff, huh.

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... You, I'm taking it. You're the man.

'Ow the fuck could I not? Means people like me ain't gon' be welcome if this shit keeps up. Like you, like yer 'usband.

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Yeah. 's me.

It's... some terrible stuff, yeah. It's part of why I got all riled up over the stuff said by that Touki guy.

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So glad we cleared that up.

So what's your idea?

Yeah, didn't do my blood pressure or my furniture any favors. Never caught 'is last duel fer some reason.

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Iunno, I feel like bein' fuckin' coy 'till the nerd an' the meathead also lemme know 'oo the man is.

At least it was his "last" duel, far as I'm aware.

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Psh, fine, fine, whatever.

Yeah, an' 'opefully now that 'e's quiet, it dies back fuckin' down again.

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Since I'm assumin' yer gonna glare Geo inta it, Haita can save 'is fuckin' pride, my desire ta be smug is gonna o'erride my desire ta be fuckin' difficult.

's pretty simple. They're clearly vassals, right? Vassals need a monarch. 'oo the fuck runs monarchs 'round 'ere? Wakahisa Da Eiza o' course. But she clearly ain't associated with 'em, since she seems as confused as the two chucklefucks are.

But, 'fore I get my theory goin'. Gonna make some thin's clear. I ain't anyone's fuckin' spy, so if Escher tells me somethin' expectin' it ta be between the two of us? It fuckin' is unless I think it's more important than keepin' 'er trust. I ain't gettin' any bad vibes off of 'em, an' that AIN'T 'cause I'm blinded. I got a lil' nervous when the others poured in, not gonna lie.

But if I can't pull up records or anythin' from 'em usin' my old PI shit, like they dun exist, what does that tell ya?

... You're thinking they're not from Earth?

Or, they dun exist YET.

Either or, honestly. Depends on 'ow ya wanna work the next part.

... So either they're not from Earth, or they're from the future.

I guess the question in either of those cases though is, why are they here? And in a pretty obvious group, too?

Yeah. Future's super fuckin' tenuous, if it weren't fer a chance fuckin' walk fer me, an' general lack o' respect fer social norms, I'd jus' say a branch o' yer family that got really far out there, or more spooky ghostmasus. But, my fuckin' godly luck is fuckin' great, like e'rythin' else 'bout me.

I ain't got answers ta those questions. If they're time travelers, maybe they're 'ere ta shut down somethin' terrible from 'appening that alters their future forever an' not in a good way. If I 'ad the means, I'd do the same thin'. An' if yer leadin' an army o' ancient fuckin' warmachines, maybe yer gonna think twice 'bout crossin' Domino AND the monarchs. OR they're puttin' people like Geo on alert 'oo'd normally wait for shit ta blow over 'cause, I mean. This place. But this particular shit storm don't blow over. They act suspiciously, then when the REAL threat shows up, ya've already got all 'ands on deck.

Hmm...

I mean, in so far as we know right now, they're probably here for a collective benefit, right?

They haven't really given any clue so far that they're malicious or anything.

Basically.

We've got more suspicious people workin' fer fuckin' OOPARTS than some students some sorta weird woman, an' Escher. 'ell, ya 'ang out with Wakahisa Da Eiza and the Ogre. So, Geo. If yer readin' this over Suguru's shoulder. Calm. The fuck. Down. Yer dad is prolly more a danger ta the public than these people are.

...Oh, uh. Speakin' o' Wakahisa Da Eiza. 'er... Uh. 'er son with Souha's named Sumiho, right? Like that new kid?

... I...

Huh, I actually didn't really know his name. I don't really talk or notice Souha too much, and Noriko doesn't mention him a lot when I see her, but...

I guess their names are pretty similar.

Ran inta Souha on that fuckin' walk. Talked 'bout their son, Sumiho, 'fore I decided it was ta awkward fer even me ta be there.

Now we've got a white 'aired weird kid with the same name 'oo might be the son of THE monarch-lady an' an influx o' vassals. Either I'm REALLY fuckin' paranoid or got REALLY fuckin' lucky.

... Did Geo jus' make a weird noise and make 'is face stick in a weird expression? I gotta know.

Ugggh, yes. He did.

So you think that one is maybe actually from the future, and is Noriko's kid.

Which explains why he's not using a weird monarch name, I guess? Or maybe that's even more confusing.

I'm fuckin' doin' my job then! 'appy days.

Yeah, that's 'bout the gist o' my thoughts. As fer the weird name, maybe 'e ain't got one. Or is simultaneously Sumiho an' Thestalos or the fuck ever, since they seem ta be titles rather than names.

OR they're both thing's 'appenin' at the same time, but ain't related, but I dun believe in coincidences.

... he just broke his phone.

So uh. Yeah. I'm thinking they might be titles, if they're all from the future.

Since, if they are, maybe they don't want their actual names known...?

Tha's fuckin' weird. ~~I'm laughin' so 'ard right now. Din't think 'e'd jus' 'ave a meltdown.~~

'Cause THEN we'd actually be able ta track 'em down and go 'waitafuckin'second' 'bout the 'ole thing where Sumiho's young 'nuff that 'e's kinda off a radar, 'specially with the parents 'e's got.

Pretty much.

If I was going time traveling, I sure wouldn't want people to be able to nose into my affairs.

Since that probably would cause some sort of timeline mess?

Basically.

Which means, unless they get real fuckin' weird, jus'... leave 'em alone beyond normal interactions. I'll open this ta the other meddlers, but I figured ya'd be on the same page as me, an' keep the other two out o' it.

Yeah, no, I get it. There's no point in really jabbing them with a stick if they don't do anything that needs questioning.

Yeah.

An' 'opefully I'll jus' be in the middle o' it when they do, so ya can all scream 'I told ya so' at my corpse.

Ah, right, that nastiness about Heartland... I guess you have been out of the loop for a while, haven't you? I thought that happened quite a while ago.

... So did you get a new haircut, by any chance?

Yeah, but there was a new newspaper article, new details an' shit. 'pparently the paper got in some trouble over it, which sets my teeth on edge an' it excites me in the worst ways possible.

Yeah, somethin' like that. More 'my body shiftin' 'round fer a paradigm shift 'cause of whatever vagaries dictate my existence.'

Oh, really? I must've missed the article.

... That has to be both exciting and annoying at the same time.

I got a copy o' it, once I saw the journalist post that they were takin' it out.

Yeah, 's definitely both. 's lil' frustratin' that 'uman clothes dun fit well anymore, but I feel better than I 'ave in 'bout a year.

Hmm... You mind if I see it?

Not at all! Wanna meet up somewhere, make it a springboard fer an afternoon?

I don't mind. The plaza good for you?

Yeah, that sounds pretty good ta me.

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

Yer jus' real fuckin' upset I figured it out 'fore ya.

But, tha's all I got.

Good luck with yer weirdly cripplin' anxiety 'bout shit that ain't yer business.

A little, yes.

And how the hell isn't it my business?! This is my home and I plan on starting a family here. If weird shit is happening, shouldn't I be concerned?

Jus' 'ole up in yer bar an' let other people worry, Briar.

Like ya've been prone ta do.

... fuck you.

[Magmaheart has blocked you.]

I'm glad I had a high caffeine tolerance even before I became undead. Good work, Cyril. Seriously.

I guess I should go ask some of my noted experts of Time Shenanigans if there's been any disturbances recently. Just to see if there's any merit to this time-travel theory.

...Especially if that actually is Noriko and Souha's kid. Samasu names tend to be pretty uh. Blatant, I've noticed.

Yeah, thanks. 's good 'nuff ta get contractor wages from ya guys?

Lemme know yer results so I can adjust my smugness as 'ppropriate. 'ell, if it's one o' the spooky ghostmasus, lemme tag 'long! I fuckin' love those guys.

Yeah, same name, 'bout as weird as I'd 'spect 'em ta be. Granted, could still be the same kid they jus' 'ad an' they jus' grew 'im time space distortin' vats an' it's been 'owever the fuck long it'd be fer them, jus' not us on the outside.

Lemme talk to Niyo. Payment for tips has to be in our budget somewhere, I figure.

I've got two Noted Professionals who might have opinions so I'm gonna poke them both about it. Though, yes, one of them is a 'ghostmasu'.

I'm pretty sure Souha and Noriko didn't hyperbolic time chamber their kid. Or if they did, they wouldn't have done it for this long. Specially if Noriko don't know the first thing about the Vassal Samasus.

Fuckin' sweet.

OH HELL YEAH take me along as 'consultant.' Fer both.

Yeah, well. Like I said, 's a fuckin' theory. Could be two completely unrelated things, 'cause we all like makin' connections an' then ya end up bein' ta smart fer yer own fuckin' good.

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