Event Post

[azuremagma]

Cyril is sitting at a defunct bus stop (day), a park (day), or on the docks (night) in his full form and regalia. To be honest? He looks like shit. Hair is a mess and he's grown out a penance beard that makes him look like a crazy homeless man dressed in Babylonian garb. He mashes buttons on a tablet, muttering to himself as he types. 'Hey nerds, I'm ba-no, that sounds like I dun like this place. Tread the line carefully...' or 'Fuck, I'm sorry I fucked us up, that last duel ya did was pretty fuckin' balls, but I know you can do b-Ugh, fuck that, jus' ain't gonna talk ta 'er.' or! 'Down but never out, the badd-agh, fuck, I am out though. Fire fades an' that 'appy shit...'

Comments

[azuremagma]

"'bout the sum of it, yeah." He laughs, then devolves into a small coughing fit.

"Are ya ever ta tired ta be bitter though?"

[memoryistime]

Bitterness at the world keeps me going, so no.

[azuremagma]

"Wish I could say I ain't got a clue on whatcha mean, but I think I've gotta whoooole lotta insight inta it now."

waves a hand, gesturing for you to have a seat next to him.

"Yeah, so. Cyril. I was somethin' once, but now I'm jus' Cyril."

[memoryistime]

*... sits down*

Shian.

I think I was told your name before, but forgive me if I forget. I tend to only remember names if I'm constantly reminded of them.

[azuremagma]

"Yeah, that's fine, I ain't exactly been a presence 'ere lately. What're ya doin', wanderin' 'round the streets right now?"

[memoryistime]

I tend to do that at any point when I'm not working or secluding myself at home.

It keeps me away from indulging in bad habits.

[azuremagma]

"Drinkin' yerself ta death?"

He snorts at that, like it's a joke.

"Yeah, better 'ere than in a bar an' waitin' fer Geo or Suguru ta drag me out back an' put me ta sleep in an alley. ... or their couch. Dun need that right now."

[memoryistime]

Yeah, that's that habit. Exactly that one. *says that like it's no joke.*

[azuremagma]

"Yeah, we're... better off lookin' like crazy people right now than dippin' our toes inta that abyss."

[memoryistime]

Pretty much. I got out of that abyss. Going back in headfirst is a bad idea.

... So, are you really bitter at people because they're happy and married, as you put it?

[azuremagma]

"...One couple, yeah. Exes of exes comin' outta the 12 dimensions, it's... Who the fuck runs inta their ex an' thinks 'this is a good idea?'"I'm bitter for a whole lotta reasons an' they're all stupid. Ya?"

[memoryistime]

I'm bitter about living, so at least you have concrete, if stupid, reasons.

And running into "exes" is never good. Even if they were never technically with you in the first place and the only true intimacy you ever had with them was a terrible mistake that you ran away from.

*... speaking from experience.*

[azuremagma]

"... I dunno alot 'bout that, but I think there's 'nother bearded guy who ya'd be able to commiserate with on that particular subject."

Another laugh, before he furrows his face.

"I 'ate ta sound like a self-'elp book fer us both, but... Uh. That jus' kinda ingrained in ya, since ya were a ghost fer a bit? Or is e'rythin' jus' kinda shit?"

[memoryistime]

Being a ghost for a while probably didn't help, but I was bitter in general before death, too.

I mean, sure. I've got more purpose now. I do things with myself, and I'm technically better for it. But it doesn't get rid of that feeling like I should lock myself away in some dark room for a week straight and refuse all human contact.

Which would be way easier if I was still a ghost since then I wouldn't have to worry about silly things like "eating" or "biological necessities".

[azuremagma]

"Think that's jus' run o' the mill depression, buddy. I know we've got counselors out the ass 'round 'ere, someone 'oo could maybe 'elp with that."

[memoryistime]

Yes, I've been told I have depression.

And it's probably correct.

But it still ties into bitter feelings, anyway.

[azuremagma]

"Oh, I ain't sayin' it don't. ...ain't the one 'oldin' yer souls a counselor?"

[memoryistime]

Yes.

And she's the one who has also pointed out that I have depression, along with other issues.

[azuremagma]

"Ya doin' somethin' 'bout it all at least?"

[memoryistime]

I'm taking... Steps.

Since one of my problems is also about freaking out about things.

So I'm attempting to mitigate the next thing I'd be losing my mind over.

[azuremagma]

"... Anything I can 'elp with then?"

[memoryistime]

How do you deal with the idea that maybe, or maybe not, that your kid would want to even know that you exist.

[azuremagma]

He breathes out a long breath at that one.

"Yeah, sorry... I, uh. Ain't got that kinda experience man."

[memoryistime]

That's what I thought.

All I can really do is wait and see what they decide. I already talked to their mother, anyway. Much as I really didn't want to.

But I'm gonna end up having to be around them anyway, since the only alternative is me quitting my job.

[azuremagma]

"Fffffuck man. Guess you're workin' in town now, at one of the schools? An', hells, at least yer doin' the right thing."